Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
