What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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