I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
well you can't waste a boner
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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