I heard we made out
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
whose parrot is this?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
