the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just google imaged poop.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
