Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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