I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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