i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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