Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
