I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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