google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize