He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
