OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
