it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
