No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
