Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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