he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
