i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
