just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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