I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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