for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
