Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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