I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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