it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
