it wasn't lemon gatorade
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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