I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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