According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
