you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
