And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
