dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
