Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize