I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
