apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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