he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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