(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
