I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Randomize
