I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
