we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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