That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
