You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
