I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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