o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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