so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
