how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
my poor anus
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
