It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
