dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
