Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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