You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
