Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
As shirtless as possible
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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