Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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