on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
