did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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