I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
