She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
