I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The air taste purple.
Randomize