Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize