he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
