When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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