think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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