there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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