a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
