I want to stick my p in your. b.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
