where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
