I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize