Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
