i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
