What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
