Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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