i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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