If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize