the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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