You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
