I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
zippers are such a cool invention
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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