i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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