I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
