At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
